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The Orchard: the shortest journey we quote
Dartford town centre is our doorstep. For a great many of our customers the Orchard is the nearest theatre by several miles, which makes this the smallest evening fare on the entire site and one of the easiest bookings we take.
From most of Dartford, Greenhithe and Swanscombe. Under twenty from Gravesend, Bexleyheath or Swanley. When a theatre is this close, the only real question is whether anybody wants to drive home after a drink.
Why people book a car for a theatre ten minutes away
It sounds unnecessary until you have tried parking in Dartford town centre on a Saturday evening.
Town centre, and it fills
Dartford's car parks are shared with the shopping centre and the high street. Evening performances compete with everything else.
Which is usually the reason
Theatre and a drink beforehand is the point of the evening. Somebody otherwise has to drive.
Families and matinees
December means children, coats, pushchairs and grandparents. Being dropped at the door matters more than usual.
Because it is close
Split across four or six people, a ten-minute run is a very small amount for removing the whole problem.
How close it is
These are the shortest journey times anywhere on this site, which is what makes the fare so modest.
| Pick-up area | Distance | Journey |
|---|---|---|
| Dartford town & Stone | 1 mile | 5–12 min |
| Greenhithe & Swanscombe | 4 miles | 10–18 min |
| Bluewater & Bean | 5 miles | 10–18 min |
| Bexleyheath & Welling | 6 miles | 12–22 min |
| Gravesend & Northfleet | 10 miles | 18–28 min |
| Swanley & Crockenhill | 8 miles | 15–25 min |
| Sidcup & Bexley | 8 miles | 15–25 min |
| Orpington & Bromley | 13 miles | 22–35 min |
| Sevenoaks & Borough Green | 16 miles | 25–40 min |
| Rochester & Chatham | 20 miles | 28–40 min |
What the Orchard programmes
A busy touring schedule with a strong family and comedy strand, and the pantomime as the anchor of the year.
| What is on | When | Note |
|---|---|---|
| Touring plays and musicals | Year round | Regional touring productions. |
| Pantomime | December and January | The busiest weeks. Matinees and family audiences. |
| Comedy and one-night shows | Year round | Punctual, and out by half ten. |
| Music and tribute acts | Year round | Popular midweek bookings. |
| Children's and family shows | School holidays | Daytime, with pushchairs and a lot of kit. |
| Community and amateur productions | Varies | Local groups, and often a full house of family and friends. |
Local notes
Check the current venue arrangements for your date
Arrangements for theatre provision in Dartford have changed in recent years, and performances have at times run from an alternative town-centre venue. Your ticket will say where you are going. We confirm the address for your specific date when you book rather than assuming, because a change of venue within the same town still changes the drop point.
The car park is the argument, not the distance
Nobody books a vehicle for a ten-minute journey because the journey is difficult. They book it because Dartford's town-centre parking is shared with the shopping centre and the high street, it fills on a Saturday evening, and coming out at half ten to find the car is the least pleasant part of the night.
Panto season is the busiest fixture
December and January bring matinees and family audiences, which means children, coats and pushchairs, and Dartford town centre at its busiest. A drop at the door rather than a walk from an overflow car park is worth a great deal in that fortnight, and those dates fill our diary early.
Multiple households, one vehicle
A very common booking here is two or three households going together. Over these distances collecting from several addresses costs very little, everybody arrives at the same time, and nobody has to organise a convoy for a journey that takes fifteen minutes.
Orchard Theatre questions
Short journeys, and one thing to check.
Is the theatre still at the same address?
Arrangements for theatre provision in Dartford have changed in recent years and performances have at times run from an alternative town-centre venue. Your ticket will state where. We confirm the address for your specific date when you book.
How close is it from around north Kent?
Very. Five to twelve minutes from Dartford itself, under twenty from Gravesend or Bexleyheath, under half an hour from Bromley or Medway. It is the shortest theatre run we quote.
Is it worth booking a car for such a short trip?
If you want a drink, yes, and that is usually the reason. It also removes the town-centre parking problem, which on a Saturday evening is the least pleasant part of the night.
Can you collect from several addresses?
Yes, and over these distances it costs very little. Two or three households in one vehicle arriving together is one of our most common bookings here.
Do you cover the pantomime?
Yes, and those dates fill early. December and January bring matinees and family audiences with pushchairs and coats, and Dartford town centre is at its busiest.
What time do performances finish?
Usually by half past ten for an evening show, earlier for matinees. Short journeys mean you are home very shortly afterwards.
Can you take a wheelchair or pushchairs?
Tell us what is needed at booking and we will size the vehicle and set down as close as the layout allows.
Is the fare fixed?
Yes, agreed at booking, and it does not change for waiting or a slightly later finish.
North Kent venues and guides
Everything on our doorstep.